i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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