I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize