So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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