i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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