I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
barbara walters just said penis...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
