cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize