they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
