He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize