if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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