Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this just has baby written all over it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize