sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
