can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
