____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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