How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
