definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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