all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do vagina's smell?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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