if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
