I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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