Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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