did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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