In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The beer is more important than you right now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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