you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
