Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
