i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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