I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
