um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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