Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
