please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize