I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
