just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
