Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
