I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
