if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
