And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
