Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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