your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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