Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
