where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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