4 words: hood of his car
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
