I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
