Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
