just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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