please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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