somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
