i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Randomize
