I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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