Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
