at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
