we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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