it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
