hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
where are my eyebrows?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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