My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
