Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
