Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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