i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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