Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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