Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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