Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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