You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
