Say something about gay babies.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
