My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
